may angels lead you in

Okay. So I've just watched the Olympics. And as the patriot I am, I'd donate my life for Norway to do so great this year I would just die anyway. That doesn't look very bright, though. Marit Bjørgen was awesome (she got the gold), and I'm perfectly happy with that. But this drags me on to the boys skiingfinal. My mouth fell down to my vagina and stayed there through the entire race. This was because of the Russians. The bloody Russians. Who the hell do you think you are? Crossing the line first and second before Petter Northug who came in third. Did ya SERIOUSLY even THINK that people can actually BEAT Petter Northug without drugs? Well I got a word for you. Lol. I KNOW you've been taking drugs. Motherfuckers. There's no help trying to fix the one reputation you have, that all russians are whores, to a better one like winning a gold medal, when you're only going to SHIT IN YOUR PANTS when you get caught using drugs. You might as well turn yourselfes in, 'CAUSE I'M ON YOU BITCHEEEEEEEES!

Emptyness

Hello.

Yeah. I'm still alive. But I'm barely breathing.

I don't know. It just seems like I`ve come to a weird point in my life. For the past couple of days I've just felt... Nothing. Zero. Zipp. Nada. I'm just listening to sad music and crying all the time. You know. You're the only one who knows. I don't even know what to say anymore. I'm... Empty. I feel nothing. Except for emptyness. And now I come to wonder why. I mean, when I look at the bigger picture, I have a GREAT life. I got the best friends a girl could ever wish for. This weekend was one of the best I've had in ages. I spent time with one half of my family on friday. And saturday. Ah, don't even know where to begin. I'd been looking forward to that saturday forever, we were having a musicnight. I couldn't imagine anything better, a whole night with people I really like playing music I really love. That's what I'd imagined. As it turned out, the night was NOTHING like I'd imagined AT ALL. We didn't even play that much music. As for me... Well, I got as drunk as I've never been before. Despite all of this, I had the time of my life that night. And sunday, I was so hangover Einstein's not even smart enough to describe it. And when I got out there in the handballmatch, I did so good. And I haven't done that in like forever. And the same day I met with the other half of my family. I was just so damn happy all weekend. Then I got to school monday. It kills me that I can't describe the feeling I've had since then. I just can't stand it. It's almost like I got a hole in my stomach like Bella.