I don’t know how to be close to you. I don’t know if I can

I really didn't think this day would get to me so bad. I knew it would come. Well, I didn't know it would, 'cause I was hoping it wouldn't. What I'm talking about is a Norwegian blogger that has been talking about her cancer for a while now. For the last weeks she'd just gotten worse and worse, and I got the worst feeling. I've been dreading for this day, avoiding the thought of it. Today is the day of Regine Stokke's death. And I didn't think I would feel it so strongly, I didn't even know her. But I've been following her blog for ages, feeling her ups and downs, reading about her being happy and sad, and today she just doesn't exist anymore. When I found out, I actually started to cry. And now I'm just really sad. I'm just happy that she got the poster off all the faces in Norway that supported her throughout everything before she passed away.

Anyways.. This weekend will probably just be another boring one. No. Not boring. I will hang out with my friends and family, it always sounds like I don't appreciate them. I REALLY DO. All though I could seriously need a party this weekend. Staying sober is hard, lol. But, like every other weekend, I'll probably just chill. And I'm not complaining. :-)

The outside world holds no interest for me without you

Today I felt a ton of weight slipping off my back. Not literally (I wish), but today was the last day of living hell at school. You have no idea how good it felt to just sit down in the couch, get something to eat and just watch TV. I'm not just saying this, I seriously can't remember the last time I did that. I've got about two hours before I have to go and do something for school again, but it's not that stressful. I've been kind of.. I don't know.. Like.. Depressed or something lately. But today, I can feel happiness return. I'd forgotten what that felt like. November has been the hardest month this year, I hated it and it hated me. But now it's December. And I got a feeling. That this month's gonna be a good month. :-)