Distract me, please

Okay, since I'm writing here for once, I might as well do a little complaining.

Here I go: So... Today I've spent all day working on my animation. And I still have a loooong way to go before I finish. What sucks is that it's due thursday in a week. Yeah, I guess it could be done in a week. IF YOU DON'T HAVE A SOCIAL LIFE! On friday I'm going to Oslo to watch a concert I promised the one in the band I would watch. And after that I'm going to Tekla's house, so friday I don't have the time. Saturday is the night I've been waiting for for two weeks, MUSIC NIGHT. There is no way I'm doing homework that day. Sunday Eline and I are doing our weekly newspaper thing, and after that I got a handball match to play. So sunday I don't have time either. I guess I can squeeze in some time after the weekend, but there's always a but. Wednesday we have THREE more tests! When I am supposed to find the time? Oh goooood help me. Seriously.

So you faint at the sight of blood?

Yeah man! I finally made it through this week! Now it's just a few normal days, that passes through really fast anyway, and THEN it's saturday. That means music. Music all night long. My passion, my life, my love. Music. Yes!

And after saturday it's only a week before our big trip out to the woods. Ofcourse it'll be a lot of fun, but I have this creepy feeling. You know, being in the woods at night, when it's dark. Don't like that idea. I never really admit this to anyone, because I always keep my fear inside myself when I'm scared, but I am seriously afraid of the dark. And I don't even think it's a normal amount of scared, either. I honestly feel like I'm going to cry or something out there. How emberrasing wouldn't that be? I feel like a little child afraid of the monster underneath the bed. I just don't hope people will laugh or anything, because there is nothing I hate more than showing that I'm scared. I just feel so... I dunno. Just hate the feeling.

This wasn't even what I was going to say. Hmmm. Huemist, like we say in norwegian. Lol. Totally forgot. Oh well.

Sweep me off my feet.

How easily frustrated I am

Today is my date with my best friend. I got nothing else to say other that I love her, and I can't wait. It hasn't been just the two of us in forever, so we've got a lot to catch up on.

I kind of have to finish a storyboard that is due tomorrow. BUUUT, best friends come first, right?:-)

Kryptonite doesn't bother me, either

This week is passing unbelievably slow. It's only Wednesday. NO, it's Tuesday! Lol. I wish I could skip the next days and just get to the weekend already. Actually, if I'm wishing for things, I wish I could just jump to NEXT weekend. That's when we're having our music night, with a bunch of sweet people. I just can't wait. Seriously. This week is moving SO slow. I got nothing going on these days, so I'm just kind of waiting. And it's not just the fact that time moves slow, it's the school stuff I have to finish, too. But worst of all, it's the handball part. I totally lost it. I can't concentrate the way I used to, and I suck as much as I did a year ago. This is one of the things I always hoped never would happen, but now it has. My coaches doesn't really help much, either. Don't get me wrong, I love them! It's just that I get yelled at a lot (we get yelled at when we don't live up to our expectations), and since my selfasteem is so low these days that's just not good for me. It's come to the point where I get home from handball, and just start crying. And I don't feel bad for myself, if that's the expression you got. I fully and truly deserve to be yelled at because I am not doing a very good job these days. And crying is a part of it all, I cried everyday when I was a newbie on the team. My mood just hasn't been on top lately, and I've been having trouble concentrating. I don't know why that is, but I'm glad we're going to have a talk with our couches soon, one on one. I'll just have to tell them I'm going through something personal right now, and that's why I haven't been myself all the time. Something personal.. I don't even know what I'm going through. And I don't know why I'm feeling so sad sometimes, or why I can't concentrate. I'm just glad I got all my friends, 'cause they cheer me up whether they want to or not. :-)

This wasn't even what I was going to write about.. But but, it's not only only- like Petter Solberg would say.

Newton's getting on my nerves

Oh God. Forget what I said earlier. Today should be a happy day! So I'm going to smile.
SMILE MOTHAFUCKAAA! Screw the world. Mohahahahhha.

Okay, I've turned into a freakshow. Great.

I'm breaking all the rules now

I had the best Halloween ever. Me and my friends crashed a party. LOL. No, we just came, though we weren't invited, but things worked out. GOOD. I didn't even bring any alcohol, but I still managed to get drunk. I seriously love being drunk, really considering the thought of becomming an alcoholic. Why do I love it? When I'm drinking I'm always happy, and there are no worries. I can do whatever I want without hessitating because I don't care. And it just feels so good. But something made my halloween this year. And it sincearly hurts me to say this. But it was because of that boy again. This time we made out, made out like for real. At first he started holding his arms around me, and after a while he brough me into the dark room (lol) and I sat on his lap. I rushed my hand through his hair, he stroked his fingers over my cheek and we kissed. We made out for a while, and then we went to another room. Only to make out more! Then we went outside, down to the streets where we were alone. Standing there in the moonlight with him introduced a new feeling in me, while we just stood there, holding each other tight, our eyes never letting go. Then we made out again, and said goodnight because we both had to go. God.

Can't say it was the best sunday, though. With a flinch of hangover, Eline and I walked from door to door with the newpapers. I also played a nervewrecking handballgame with just a little more hangover, keeping it a little more secret. And then, when we're at Kristines house, Eline tells me that the boy (I just call him the boy, I'm sure you know what I mean) doesn't really want anything to do with me. He just likes getting drunk and having fun with me at parties and so on. I won't deny the pain. It did sting. And I did promise myself not to get drawn into this. But I always do. He says he's looking forward to the musicnight we're having in about two weeks from now, and the naturetrip in a month or so. Why does he do that? Play with my feelings. He can't just sweap me of my feet that way and expect me not to feel anything. Then ofcourse, I can't blame him. He doesn't know what he's doing to me. I don't like falling asleep at three in the morning, waking up two hours before I actually have to. And he has no idea. And I can't believe I'm posting this. It just makes everything so real, you know?

SO, I have made my decition. I'm just going to stop thinking about him, and just give a fuck. I won't care anymore. Yeah. Talk about mission impossible.

NOW I really got to get to school, wish me luck on that. And Eline, if you're reading this at school or something, please don't let anyone see. And please close this window. If someone sees this I might as well just die. Bye